Finding the meaning of life

A clear direction in life will help you get the most out of it. If you are still looking for an answer to the big question “Why am I here?” it may be worth answering some smaller questions first.

One method of finding out what makes you tick is reverse engineering. Values feed into the subconscious or conscious mind and determine what actions we choose to take. The most enjoyable activities are the ones which align most with the highest of values. Following the steps below will provide an indication of what your most treasured values are.

Step 1: What experiences do you enjoy or anticipate you would enjoy?
Write down as many as you can. The idea at this stage is to have a long list of every mental or physical experience, activity, or intention which you do, or expect to, enjoy. Divergent thinkers will put together a long list quickly. Aim for at least twenty ideas to make the next part easier.

Step 2: What patterns are there in your long list?
See if there are patterns emerging in your list where similar experiences can be grouped together. For example swimming, walking the dog and yoga may all be grouped together as ‘sports’. Or walking the dog, feeding birds and horse-riding could all be grouped together as ‘interact with animals’. Try to consolidate your list to around six themes.

Step 3: How do you feel when having the experiences listed in each theme?
List all the emotions that come to mind when reviewing the experiences listed within a theme. This will provide insight to why there is a tendency to aim for particular experiences.

Step 4: Choose your favourite.
With the insight of what gives meaning to the themes for your preferred experiences, place them in order of most to least important.

Step 5: Within the group of emotions associated with preferred experiences, which has the highest value?
This is your peak experience.

Creating a list and working through prioritising what comes up can take time, but is a worthwhile investment. Repeating the process every few years can capture any changes that have occurred and bring the highest values to the front of our minds.

Having a clear intention of what we want out of life makes decisions and jobs easier as they are done with a clearer perspective of how they are supporting preferred experiences.

Working through what types of experiences are preferred, and the reasons why, can broaden the horizon of what will give more meaning to your life. Reaching a short list of peak experiences may give more context to things in your life which did not hold much value previously.

I have refined the steps above through simple reflection on my own life, and the intention to spend more time doing things which I enjoy. This process has been a good way to identify experiences which I consider are the peak in my life. They are what you would probably see flash before your eyes during a close call with death. These days I write down goals which align with what experiences I want, then plan my life around them.

Having gone through the process myself, I was interested in what others consider to be the meaning of life—so I facilitated a discussion using the steps above at a conference last year top found out.

The beauty of facilitating a group discussion is that the long list of ideas can come together quickly. It took half an hour for the group to get to a moment of Zen and discover what life is all about.

There was a wide variety of experiences shared which become six themes. ‘Relationships’ got the most votes which means, as a group, the highest values of people present on the day lie with feelings of Safety, Comfort, Security, Connectedness, Intimacy and Self-Awareness.

It was quite a revelation coming to the conclusion that as a group we value relationships as the highest experience in life.

Something which has assisted me to develop this process is the coaching of thousands of rehabilitation clients through my work as an Accredited Exercise Physiologist. I have used motivational interviewing as a behavioural medicine technique to increase patient ownership of health issues.

I have used the same principles in Community Engagement to harness the power of crowd sourcing. This highlights how even a few people, when working together, can come up with more ideas and a better solution to a problem than any individual working on their own.

Gaining insight to others values has influenced the direction of my life and I have already made changes as a result of our discussion. I hope sharing my strategy assists others to gain insight to their thoughts and feelings and assists with their decision making process.